A: You need to speak to an attorney. Without more information I would not be able to answer your questions. However, if you are in fear for your safety because of violations to the restraining order you need to immediately contact law enforcement and seek protections from the court.
A: The answer to your question really depends on what your custody orders say. If your orders state that you just have to give him notice, then you should be fine. However, if your orders are silent or if they say he must approve in writing and you've asked him but he says no you will have to seek the court's permission to travel on vacation out of the state. Usually a court will allow it and may even give you attorney fees since it shows that he is not co-parenting if he has no good reason to object.
If you do not understand your orders, you may want to schedule an appointment with an attorney to help you.