A: You should get an order assigning payment of your support to you out of every check he gets in retirement - just like an earnings assignment order - file a N-195 assignment orderand have it served on the entity that pays out the early retirement benefits. a certified document assistant can help you with the form and getting it filed and service. Best of Luck.
A: If he abandoned you to go live in New York over the past year, and has no relationship with your daughter while you and your daughter have bonded, there is not much chance that the court in California is going to give him custody of your child. The court that is located in the "home state" of the child has original jurisdiction (which is the state where the child has lived in the last six months before filing any proceedings - and if the child has not lived in any state consecutively 6 months then the last state the child spent living for six month - which in your case is California) . Even if you move to Iowa, California would have original jurisdiction at least until such time as when you move to another state and have been there long enough to meet residency requirements - (IOWA) If IOWA is the only state you have to go to live, then you need to do what you need to do. IF there are no court orders prohibiting you from going then nothing would prohibit your move legally.
A: Continuances are disfavored and a matter within the discretion of the court - if this next continuance that you intend to ask for has the potential of causing prejudice to the other side, that will weigh heavy against you in the analysis - The attorney will need to make a very strong showing of need for the continuance... and should be prepared just in case the court does not grant it.